...stress relief journal.
jut another journal to clear my crowded mind. (or else i can't work OTL )
2010 is a very kind and gentle year.
since 2010 started i've been feeling a bit fluffy? i don't know what else to call it.
this first week (first 7th day tom. XD )
i want to cry but theres something about 2010 that just doesn't let me to.
lately i've been very sleepy too and because if that i don't have time anymore to think about things (how are things going an how do i react to them) which is very good. but sometimes before going to sleep i get a few minutes to think about those stuff and want to cry but instead of crying i felt like laughing even though it really makes me want to cry. (man, do i have a mental disorder? maybe i have oh well )
well so far im hating the all of the people im with (i don't plan on saying sorry to the people im referring to even though they know ) because ive been very very kind to them (actually to some of them i want to say a lot of bad things to their faces but i just don't cuz somehow im still kind to them) . but hell i think their kindness is 'artificial' or just forced kindness cuz im their 'friend' and they act kindly but i don't feel it coming from their hearts and I'm hating it.
humans really are the most disgusting and ugly creatures ever created in this world. and unfortunately only some are the truly beautiful.
i have this thinking that if a person don't trust me at least 75% it's better if i don't trust them at all. im very possessive but i don't plan to enslave anyone, im actually very generous of giving 2x the degree of what you gave me if you really deserve it.
and i wasn't ever wrong in judging people. sometimes i surprise myself of how accurate i am in seeing inside a person. if i say i like a certain person the first time i met them or called them 'beautiful' they really are.
well im tired writing and my mind is cleared so i'll stop. this journal may not make any sense but whaever im still going to submit this and i wont just close the tab.
i'm always misunderstood cuz i never learned how to express myself and choose my words well, cuz i never had someone to talked to--always. are the considerate people gone from this world?
and to whomever reading this journal entry of mine: Don't forget to say thanks to the people around you even on small things, sometimes you might not know it just takes out the pain of someone who secretly did something for you even though it hurt them soo much. of course they wont tell that it hurts them(or makes you notice it), cuz they don't want pity but they just wanted you to be happy(even if they don't value that much for you. thank you is just two syllables long, it doesn't take a speech to brighten up one's day).
Shit im crying again, lately my journals are as if written in tears
Listening to: Suicides Love Story- Nana Kitade