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November 19, 2009
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Can I Complain?

Journal Entry: Thu Nov 19, 2009, 8:57 PM
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=...=
i don't really know if i can i don't want people I'm complaining off saying stuff to me like "why didn't you..." or "we are not doing that..."

well  no one does read my random journals so well i think it's ok?=...=

so ok back to the complaint

why does my friends treat me like JUST A NORMAL PERSON IN FACT THEY TREAT NORMAL PEOPLE MUCH BETTER THAN THEY DO TO ME > <

i want to find other people to be friends with at school but that seems impossible

yeah because all the people at school are stuck-up and shallow people

i'M NOT A FREAKING THING SO DON'T SAY BAD THINGS ABOUT ME LIKE I'M SOME KIND OF INANIMATE OBJECT THAT CAN'T FEEL

i want to go to a new school like what i have said before cuz before it was just the rest of my fugly shitard classmates, then i thought "oh it's just my classmates after two years they'll be gone from my life." and then the problems got worse it turns to my friends....
my friends who just freaking talk to me and nothing else. they don't even care if they'll bother me by doing those stuff and what the heck they sometimes don't even know where am i. you know how that suck soo much?

I'd better be home schooled and left alone than to have those so called friends that doesn't even care for you =.....=

i'd rather draw for the rest of my life than to socialize with other people... but I'm doing this cuz I'm still human in some way

  • Mood: Anger
  • Listening to: Fly away - Thyme
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:icon143gaara-kun:
143Gaara-kun Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2009
I'm sorry I know I'm one of the people you direct this to

I don't even know what's happening..I hate being dragged to things I don't want to be in...Sometimes I want to stay with the sun but that can't go on forever..the moon always overcomes the sun and night coms and I'm all alone...thank god my stars are there..but you know what? I'm not going crazy because day will always come after a while

oh god wtf did I just type? anyways...I just mean I don't always get to control my own actions..it gets influenced or controlled
Reply
:iconkumobit:
Kumobit Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2009  Student Digital Artist
miaw, how are you dragged in?

this is a free journal with no names said and blah blah
Reply
:icon143gaara-kun:
143Gaara-kun Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2009
meow back

I know I make journals like that too...But I always feel bad when I see you upset..I think it's my fault

Gomene
Reply
:iconkumobit:
Kumobit Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2009  Student Digital Artist
well same as many of my journal i was only upset at that time being. i'm not upset now, and it's because i've typed and read comments of other people in that journal (anger relief)

so that and think it isn't your fault or else i would've mentioned it too. soo yeahh ahahah i know it would get this awkward when finally everyone involved read the journal.

and right now because of that journal and the responses, i think i could imagine the worse case scenario now. oh well what ever.

it's always like this.
I'm so dramatic, and i think i'm digging up my own grave that way
Reply
:icon143gaara-kun:
143Gaara-kun Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2009
yea XD

It's a weird feeling...spilling your heart and thoughts out in a journal or comment or drawing..but the after awhile, you forget what you have written...and when people comment about it, you have nothing to say anymore

Wow does journals,etc. suck our feelings away?..Cool atleast we have a filterer
Reply
:iconkumobit:
Kumobit Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2009  Student Digital Artist
the keyboards do that and the constant pressing of the 'backspace'

from our finger tips the keyboards suck our emotions dry ahahahah.

same with talking the mouth lets all the emotion out @^@
Reply
:icon143gaara-kun:
143Gaara-kun Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2009
yea...but actually typing and thinking is better...ugh my throat gets dry and it sucks...haha actions are better than words XD because talking needs a price of your saliva
Reply
:iconkumobit:
Kumobit Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2009  Student Digital Artist
and talking is worse for me because of my nasal problems and you don't get to check your grammar twice, once you said it thats it...
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconana-18:
ana-18 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2009
god if you realy hate me that much why didnt you say so??-_-
Reply
:iconkumobit:
Kumobit Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2009  Student Digital Artist
actually this journal isn't just about you.
and i don't hate you i just hate what you do sometimes


actually i want to explain but it would be pointless doing soo...
i wont
Reply
:iconana-18:
ana-18 Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2009
i want you too explain later okay -_-
Reply
:iconredjustice22:
redjustice22 Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2009
O_o i think i can relate:) HEY! if you don't feel better come with us... we don't want to have enemies in our table we want to have friends with us. actually it's hard to leaving you guys but i have too... mykee told me noon "TRAYDOR" daw ako but actually i just left because i don't want to be talked about in our table.and i really feel unwelcome to you guys... and alyssa i was like that too.. i want to have friends but i think its hard to find A TRUE FRIEND IN SCHOOL...
Reply
:icon143gaara-kun:
143Gaara-kun Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2009
dammit red! You know me..(do you?)

I usually speak in riddles..I don't want people to read me like an open book so I lie..and lie..and lie...I'm sorry for all but sometimes I joke around too much

I know it's bad. I try to stop but..sometimes I don;t know when to stop..or how...Sometimes I even think the person I'm "joking" at knows I only joke

I don't like hurting people's feelings and I don't do anything to dos so..If I do and I don't realize it, then that means I have a problem or I just really don't care..this rarely happens I hope
Reply
:iconredjustice22:
redjustice22 Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2009
gosh! it's okay understood that its bad to joke FORGIVEN~! wehehehe! anyways there's no person who is REALLY PERFECT so ~STOP JUDGING! and i really don't like people whose leaving there friends BEHIND that's why i have a friend who was a problem i don't want to leave them....until they find someone to guide them....
Reply
:iconkumobit:
Kumobit Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2009  Student Digital Artist
ALLYSA

yeah anyways i dun wanna bother with that anymore.
they're just like that cuz they're the only friends they've got

tehy're not the only friends i've got anyways i got lots more but they're only far away, busy, busy, and i don't get to talk to them that much cuz they are already graduated or is studying in college so i don't wanna bother with people in our school anymore
Reply
:iconredjustice22:
redjustice22 Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2009
i'm so woried when my friends are like that :(
Reply
:iconakiguchi:
Akiguchi Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2009
I sort of know how you feel. Others can be especially cruel and not even know it.
Reply
:iconkumobit:
Kumobit Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2009  Student Digital Artist
yeah,but on my case if i try to tell them they'll say something like "huh, really? we are not doing that it's you who..." or some other things that moves the blame to me than to them.
Reply
:iconakiguchi:
Akiguchi Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2009
I see, personally and in my opinion, I wouldn't stick around those who treat me bad. Though, I wouldn't really recommend you doing that since you might end up being alone (Been there, done that)

I experienced having being almost left alone at one time, most of my classmates didn't really give shit if they hurt my feelings. But I still had friends who even though I'm not that close to them at that time to ease my loneliness. To make a long story short, I endured being alone but in doing so, I managed to find true friends who will never leave me out

If you feel out of place or alone this time, you need to endure because there will also be a time where you will finally find true friends and happiness (which I hope will be soon)

Damn, I sound cheesy and I don't think I helped a lot. But I do hope for the best for you :D
Reply
:iconzfoo:
zfoo Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2009
thats sound kinda sad...

but friends can't always threat you nice, even me also can't always threat my closest friends nice...it depends on the situation...but not all friends are bad....

just try to make some new friends, who knows, maybe you will know some nice new friend :)
Reply
:iconkumobit:
Kumobit Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2009  Student Digital Artist
but i wish they wouldn't call me a friend anymore. sometimes they don't notice me anymore and what matters to them is being three not being four, with out me being included anymore...

and then sometimes, it's like my obligation to help them (if i don't they'll get a little angry in some way) but so far it feels like they hadn't helped that much like what i do for them.

yeah i think I'll do that ^^
Reply
:iconzfoo:
zfoo Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2009
o...in that case, i'll distant myself with them a little, since you don like them so much...but not too much....just talk to them when you need to, or else just stay a little distant, so that you won't have those bad feeling, or you could try to do something else to avoid thinking the bad thing...

thats what i can think...just try any method that good for you and your friends, just that making peace on both side is my method, you can have yours too

life is not easy, you just have to go through it :)
Reply
:iconlas-t:
LAS-T Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2009
mate you 'aight?
seems like your having a bit of friend problems eh?
What are they doing?
Reply
:iconkumobit:
Kumobit Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2009  Student Digital Artist
yeah kinda, i think.

well cuz you see I'm trying my best to still be with them like , sacrificing some time, spilling everything even my darkest secrets so they don't get bored with me. and then now they talk to me only sometimes now and for a very brief moment, sometimes they have this something that only the three of them know (and we are four including me) and there is this one time that one of them (the closest one to me) said "it's not of your concern.." while i was asking what are they talking about so i could join in. yeah i know i shouldn't be asking that but every single time they'd huddle up and i don't know anymore what they're talking about...
and sometimes they'd rather wait for each other but when it comes to me they don't.
and is it right to for them to tell me they've done something fun and i should regret it because I was late?
man i could go on and on and but i guess i should cut it now, the comment is too long already.

and i really appreciate the time you took to visit and comment here:hug:
Reply
:iconlas-t:
LAS-T Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2009
oh, yes, i recognise this.
look is there any other people you're more closer too?
Just hang in there, until they do something totally shite then leave them but leaving isn't very easy either. Hmmmmmm.....do you reckon they're like this towrads you for a reason? Because I don't know the situation very well so I can't really help all that much but - out of the three, talk to the one you are closest the most too, or the one that will tell you the truth and ask them if there is anything going on.
This helped me in the past but i dunno. :hug: goodluck mate, you have my best wishes :heart:
Reply
:iconkumobit:
Kumobit Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2009  Student Digital Artist
yes there are but recently, contacting them is becoming hard...
i don't really know why they're like this suddenly, but since the other one, the one closest to me was my classmate last year (we've been friends since then) so i guess she must be bored with me and thought that the other two are better...

and ok I'll try that maybe I'll talk to them about it, but i wish i have the guts to though

thank you ^^
Reply
:iconlas-t:
LAS-T Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2009
no worries, anytime mate :tighthug:
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