one of my fiends might say stupidly bad thing nao (cuz i told her to if i go online today) but spare this journal. and to the friend who's going to slap me for going online (too) i just checked my messages for important stuff... so yeah
no i didn't just noticed it but i accepted that i was.
because i see things more detailed than everyone else, like having a pair of magnifying glas in front of my eyes, well not literally.
like observing people's gestures towards me. in a week i can find out id they seemingly like someone or hate them.
in a day with a person i met i would act very positive and loud just to draw out your personality and other stuff that is about you, if i hate it i'm not going to repeat that loud happy nature and will not really be that close anymore >..>
so far... i haven't really met anyone who i could continue treating the same way as i treat them the first day i met them.
Soo... to the people i already know and is talking with everyday i maybe extremely dramatic. like just vanishing out of sight, doesn't try to pull out a conversation, and doesn't really mingle much. and it probably because i found this certain something about you that i don't like. and i know you'll be asking "why the heck are you still hanging out with us then?" then that is simply because i need people who could shield me from the rather pathetic people around me that I'm not interested enough to be fighting with, and that means i really don't like you.
these day i get so desperate, desperate enough to try to like what i didn't like in the first place. so lets say i like you now, the reason not to like you would be not returning the same or larger amount of lets say affection as i do to you.
yeah I'm dramatic... read the rest of my other journals cuz they're all the same
and why i'm making this other journal in the first place? shit, i insulted that certain person already and still doesn't change, if you already know that i don't like that kind of thing then don't do it anymore sheesh, well i supposed humans change in a large amount of time soo little.
i always make my complaint coded, no names, and i think it takes aother me what I'm trying to say. but how some they already found out it's them ans then they think more about the insult i gave them than the rest of the message.
actually those things, those insults that isn't about your mental capacity and self worth is not a big deal enough to get insulted unless you really do do them... (example slut, if I'm called that , and so far i don't think i'm being a slut i wont get offended actually i would think it's a joke soo ahaha lol )
so to the pl who is reading this, that somehow is related to this mess, there you go. thats so far the best way i could put it with out insulting you and making you hate me.
cuz if i made it rather clearer you'll get offended an wont even let me finish. andd the latter is also the same reson why i write all these complaints here in a journal
(i got to lazy to re-read this so sorry for wrong grammars or stuff