right now i see it as a world covered with sharp things all around...
my out look of the world now is very different thanks for the people who lack understanding and prioritizes their own good than do something that could probably save a lot of things.
some people seemed concerned about what is happening to our world and wants to do something about it, but they are just words spoken most of those people never did anything. so I'm very thankful to the people who who is really doing something.
right now I'm very frustrated, people lacks understanding.
people think of themselves first, but i am not saying they should only care about others. all i wanna say is they should see what the other side feels before acting, sometimes it hurts and they don't care as long as they say something...
right now i'm stuck i just don't have that motivation to move anymore, unlike before. before i used to be really optimistic, really easygoing, and isn't worrying every time. right now i'm very in decisive and frustrated.
i don't really know how to write this journal OTL
I'm frustrated at things i shouldn't be. and in addition to that i don't have a person to talk it over with. then it comes out in surges in form of journals.
i don't knwo i I'm too addicted or not addicted at all.
cuz it looks like I'm not accepted in both sides.
it makes me really depressed...
i'm usually quiet i can't start a proper conversation because i never really had any practice in that part. i was always left alone since i was a child so i have no one to talk to
I'm afraid to explain that to people, cuz every time i do they just gave me pity and never put it to heart. then the next day they'll start asking me why is it that even I'm with them i don't talk...
they don't know how empty i am already. Ive said more things already than what i keep inside.
before i lie just to have a conversation and now i'm starting to regret it and i stop.
maybe some of you might ask why is conversation so important?
the people I'm always with neglects people who won't talk to them always, well thats what i view it from my prospective.
and a certain person just keeps on negating me no matter what--- to that person "just don't fucking talk or answer to me when nothing good or helpful on my side will come out of your mouth cuz it's frikin annoying, how many times i told you about it?! are you a retard for not understanding that i don't want your opinions? if you want to show your opinions soo badly then go talk to someone who cares, and don't care! whats the use of knowing me for a long time and having called your friend if you are not even considerate to my feelings. sooner or later you will read this journal i hope it's not too late, but if this keeps up i'd rather be alone than be friends with you or anybody like you."
=.= i'll stop this journal and go to sleep. there are probably more things im mad about but i guess it's not really right to write it here.
now i can't even do anything anymore and what i see now is all gray. my head hurts terribly I'm going to sleep
Reading: Sense and sensibility byJane Austen
Watching: Eureka seven ep 40
Eating: teh pen of my tablet (thinking it was pocky)